Originality AI - Or How Aliens Replaced My Mind with AI

A few months ago, I got an email from a company I write for. “We’ve detected that your article was written by AI.” Well, I guess since Elon Musk says we are living in a simulation, it must be true.

Then I got a similar email a week later, and I got paranoid. “Maybe my brain has been replaced with AI in that last alien abduction. The first anal probe was fine, but this delayed one without the lube isn’t working for me.”

But the problem was deeper than that. It turns out that not only had my brain been replaced by AI; I had been sent back in time at some point and written articles 10 years ago using my AI-enabled brain, at least according to Originality AI.

I also was finding some proof that the same aliens that visited me had to have visited Shakespeare in the past because MacBeth was written by AI, so at least I was in good company. We all have the same AI-enabled brains. Now it makes perfect sense that Google’s AI chatbot is named Bard.

Google Penalizes AI Content

Here’s a trick. It’s like a Mad Libs game you can play with any online marketer you know. Start a sentence with “Google penalizes” and then add any phrase or word you want to it. But first have a product that solves the problem and a bunch of affiliates to spread the word. Google doesn’t care. They like your fear.

Because even if Google comes in and says in plain words that they do not penalize AI content, the word is already out that they do and an army of affiliates can smack down that propaganda before it has time to spread.

Plus, Google is just going to spit out its own AI above your results anyway, so what does it matter?

Macbeth Was AI Generated

I knew it. See, Shakespeare was inspired by the emerging field of AI. Bard is just hedging its bets here. After all, if it actually came out and said that there was no Shakespeare and Bard actually wrote all the plays, where would classic literature be? What would happen to Shakespeare in the Park?

AI Content Can Be Detected

The Red Queen is a bitch. I dealt with her a few times, but she was one of the keys of my success in the early days of my internet marketing career. Well, I guess the only days of my internet marketing career where you could pluck tasty affiliate commissions directly from the hands of Google with duplicate content and a few thousand links.

The Red Queen worked in my favor that time because she was caged. I knew it would be a while before Google would algorithmically remove me from the results, because it would also catch some innocent victims. Then Panda and Penguin released her from that cage and I went from internet marketing to development.

But you know what? Other people continued on. If you ever wanted to know what humans can do without the help of AI, just search some of these phrases:

Pick an article out of those results and it will be basically the same as any other one you find. Maybe if you go four or five pages deep, you’ll find something new, but I’m not so sure.

Thanks for the helpful update Google, but I still see the same crap and I have a few hundred more examples if you need them.

Now some of those results might be written by AI now and to tell you the truth, they may be the better articles. But these type of results have been the same for a few years.

Marketers want to rank for a term, so they look to other articles that do and eventually all the articles are clones. Also, I have written some of these, a few that rank #1 and I didn’t use AI.

But I did use articles in Google results as a guide and after reading two or three, I really didn’t have to read the others. We were all working off the same script.

So can AI content be detected?

Let me answer that questions with a few other questions:

  • Does your email spam detector detect all spam without false positives?
  • Did Google catch my spam sites for 8 years?
  • Will a flu shot from 3 years ago stop this year’s flu strain?

The Red Queen has her hand in all this stuff and what does she have to say?

“It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

Long Live the Red Queen

But you know. What you don’t know can’t hurt you, but it sure can scare the shit out of you. If the marketers want the warm, fake, fuzzy feeling that company which has not been around for even a year can give them, then you got to do what you got to do.

AI is a black box to about 99% of the population. Say you’re an expert and you can spin whatever you want to spin and be a marketer’s own personal Jesus.

JavaScript is actually a virus that sends your data to the Illuminati so they can track you for alien abduction. And you know what happens then? You’ll get sent back in time to write things with AI. They really like doing that. AI detectors have the proof.

Believe me? Why not? I’m an expert on JavaScript.

But you know marketers, so if you write content, you might just need Originality AI to prove that you aren’t one of these AI pod people. And yes, that was a freaking affiliate link. I might as well get something out of this shit.

Stephan Miller

Written by

Kansas City Software Engineer and Author

Twitter | Github | LinkedIn